Tim Conigrave and John Caleo became lovers after they met while students at a Melbourne Catholic school in the '70s. Their same-sex relationship lasted for the best part of 16 years until 1992, when John died of AIDS two years ahead of Tim. It was the focus of Holding The Man, Conigrave's posthumously-published memoir that won a United Nations Human Rights Award for Non-Fiction in 1995.
It was also listed as one of the "100 Favourite Australian Books" by the Australian Society of Authors in 2003. Earlier this month, Sydney's Griffin Theatre Company premiered Tommy Murphy's stage adaption, which has already broken box office records in its production directed by David Berthold. The already extended first season is sold out, and there is now a second season scheduled from 8 February to 3 March 2007.
Mention of the religious order teachers' tacit approval of the relationship features at an important moment in the dialogue of the play. It is contrasted with disapproval from some lay staff members. The book goes into more detail, with one of the teachers telling Tim: "Well, if it is respectful, I wish you the best." Another—a priest—leaves them to their own devices when he sees the two in bed together while away on a school retreat.
From the moment the first teacher gives their relationship his blessing, the union evolves towards respect rather than lust. Official Church and other disapproval of homosexuality do not weigh on their consciences. Guilt features only when lust and the desire to experiment threaten to undermine the foundation of their love.
Conigrave becomes restless and wants to put the relationship on hold—or perhaps end it—so that he can pursue other men who offer a greater range of sexual pleasures. Caleo responds with a wimpering, but strident and piercing, "Why would you want to?". This comes across as a moral challenge, rather than an act of selfish possession. It is particularly evocative in the powerful interaction between actors Guy Edmonds and Matt Zeremes. The play is not polemical, but it is very moral, and protective of the integrity of the relationship.
The larger-than-life portrayal of the insensitivity of John's disapproving one-eyed Catholic father, Bob, as some kind of bogeyman, sticks out. He taunts Tim by staking a claim to John's possessions while they are sitting around John, who is unconscious on his deathbed. The possessions don't matter to Tim; it's Bob's implied