Welcome to Eureka Street

back to site

RELIGION

Jesus Guilty! A slice of Roman talkback

  • 02 April 2007

Eight minutes past three, on this very good Friday. Call us on the open line and tell us what you think. Well, we got him. It's been a long time coming, but, finally: he's confessed. Egg on the face of all his supporters this afternoon, as self-confessed terrorist Jesus Christ gets exactly what he deserved. And some would say crucifixion is too good for the likes of him. It's my understanding he was arrested at approximately eight thirty last evening, hiding out in a mountain of olives, after government authorities - working with the religious leadership - employed one Judas Iscariot, who had infiltrated his network of supporters, to lead them to him. Then, in a rapid series of late night sittings and early morning hearings, the Sanhedrin, the Roman governor Pontius Pilate AND King Herod himself ALL came to the same conclusion: this grubby threat to the civilized world had to be dealt with, and promptly. Swift justice, eh? Why can't the judges always be that quick, that's what I'd like to know. Caller, hello. Caller: Hello? Go ahead Longinus. You're on. Caller: Oh, hi, Psittacus, love listening to your show. That's okay, Longinus. We love hearing what the people think. Caller: Mate, what did they get this coot on in the end? I mean, he's got – he's got – He's got a list of offences up to your armpit, hasn't he? Caller: That's what I mean, mate. What did they do him for? What didn't they do him for? Do you want to know? Caller: If it doesn't take the rest of the programme to read the charge sheet. (Wheezy laugh from Psittacus) I'll try to sum it up. Have a listen to this. At the Sanhedrin – are you listening, Longinus? – At the Sanhedrin testimony was given that he had threatened to tear down the Temple – the Temple! – and build a new one in its place. No denial. No protest. The charge held. He was asked was he the Christ, the Son of the Blessed One. He replied, "I am." Caller: Shit. How about that? I mean, the absolute affrontery – claiming to be the Son of God and then when they accuse him of planning a terrorist attack on the Temple itself – I mean, the Temple, we're talking about the single greatest icon in Jerusalem! - no denial. He let the