It makes perfect sense. You go to the hospital to find someone close to you has died or is seriously injured. You can't help but feel a greater empathy for your friend than for patients in adjacent beds or in the same ward, people you barely know.
Perhaps this explains why journalist Miranda Devine's recent piece in response to the Boston Marathon tragedy makes mention of New York, London and Beslan. She also mentions the bravery and human spirit at Bali, though its significance is that the 'Bali bombing killed 88 Australians'. No victims of acts of terror in other places are mentioned.
Devine shouldn't necessarily be criticised for her choice of examples of terrorism. The main point of her article was that when the barbarism of murderous terror strikes a place, victims and bystanders will rally to save other victims wherever possible.
Her failure to mention victims of other countries is indicative of the fact that we relate more to victims with whom we have some kind of cultural, linguistic or other affinity. Chinese newspapers will perhaps be publishing similar opinion pieces given the Chinese student who perished near the marathon finishing line.
On the other hand, one would also feel heightened empathy toward someone with an illness you can relate to or which has claimed the life of a loved one.
That might explain a tweet from @Pakistaninews which referred to a Fox News report of a strong earthquake in Papua New Guinea. In recent days, a huge earthquake and tremors have affected south eastern Iran, Pakistan and parts of India. No doubt earthquake victims will be at the forefront of Pakistani concerns, though some no doubt will also have relatives in Boston.
Our suffering and the suffering of those we love should lead to a heightened sense of empathy for those who suffer similar tragedies, even if we otherwise share little cultural affinity. In this regard, one can't help but wonder why so many other attacks come and go without receiving a similar degree of concern and coverage.
When a group of Shia Muslims from the Hazara tribe are blown to pieces by Pakistani Taliban bombs in Quetta, the blood that flows is of the same colour as that of Australians in Bali. When a suicide bomber or an American drone aircraft rips innocent civilians to shreds, the shards of their bones are made of the same substance as the bones of the 9/11 first responders.
Terrorism affects non-Americans and non-Brits and non-Australians and non-Kiwis as well. The image of the innocent face of eight-year-old Boston victim Marty Richards will touch the hearts of all but the most heartless. Yet in Marty's name, and depending on the outcome of the investigation, we might see calls for invasions of other lands. We might see politicians, pundits, cultural warriors play the pipes of war.
Isn't this what happened after 9/11? Many were moved by the disturbing images of planes flying into skyscrapers. The resulting wave of international sympathy led to calls for invasion. Australia joined a coalition of forces to invade Afghanistan and topple the Taliban government.
It was all for the victims. The only way to avenge the death of 'our' victims was to ensure 'they' had even more victims. Ten of their eyes for one of ours.
This is hardly representative of the express wishes of terror victims and their families. Marty Richards once walked in a school peace march holding up a placard that said 'No more hurting people'.
Perhaps one of the most horrific deaths from terror was the beheading of American journalist Daniel Pearl. He was murdered in February 2002 by Pakistani extremists. The UK Telegraph reports that Pearl was kidnapped in January. He was told a few hours before that he would be beheaded. He resisted attempts to sedate him.
Before he was murdered, they forced him to relate his Jewish background and express sympathy with detainees in Guantanamo Bay before putting the knife to his throat once — and then again, a second time, owing to the faulty camera.
One of those present told police: 'When they were slaughtering him in front of me I thought it was a bad dream. I had seen the cutting of a goat or chicken many times, but had never seen a human being slaughtered in front me.'
One would expect Pearl's Tel Aviv-born father to despise Pakistan and Muslims. Certainly cultural warriors speaking in his son's name would encourage such sentiment. Instead, Dr Judea Pearl has established a foundation in his son's name which (amongst other things) trains journalists in Pakistan and the Middle East.
The Foundation's website states it exists 'to address the root causes' of Pearl's death. It does this by working within the principles of Pearl's life. 'These principles include uncompromised objectivity and integrity; insightful and unconventional perspective; tolerance and respect for people of all cultures; unshaken belief in the effectiveness of education and communication; and the love of music, humor, and friendship.'
Far more effective than sending other people's sons and daughters to fight other people's wars.
Irfan Yusuf is a Sydney based lawyer and blogger.