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ARTS AND CULTURE

Forty and feeling fine

  • 29 October 2008

It was, as the UK Guardian reported, a rebirth in all senses of the word. The artist known as Anastacia (pictured) told the newspaper that she wasn't born in 1974, as had been alleged since the 2000 release of her debut album, Not That Kind, but in 1968.

That would mean she's ... gasp ... 40. I'd hate to think what this makes her in pop-star years, but Anastacia certainly went up a notch or two in my estimation. Here was a woman (who could easily pass for 30) airing her real age when all pressure would have surely been to continue with the smokescreen.

I found Anastacia's honesty far more reaffirming than the chick-lit-inspired grrrls of the past decade. It might be galling to officially turn middle-aged, but do we really need to dress it up as the 'fabulous 40s'? Or turn 40 into the new 30 or (worse) 21?

The way I see it is that 40 is like any age — unless you're a woman.

In a few days I, too, will be slipping it on for size. Despite the birthday looming over me ever since I stumbled over my biological clock a few years back, I'm still unprepared. The truth is that despite having engaged in an energetic game of hide and seek, unlike Anastacia, I never actually expected 40 to jump out and shout 'Boo!'.

In the words of James Brown: 'I feel good', and just a little indifferent. I'm anxious and a little elated. I feel old yet young enough to remember that not so long ago 40 wasn't over the hill — it was over Mt Kilimanjaro.

But the view on the way down isn't so bad. Here's the thing: life at 39 and three-quarters is a lot calmer, and a lot less inconsistent and self-centred than it was 10 years ago, let alone 20.

That's not to say that the existential scars have healed completely. I've battled with God and lost (but live to fight another day). I've read books that have made me laugh, cry and buy airline tickets to far-away places. I've known what it is to leave behind a marriage and embark on another. As well as buy property, I've bought into the consumer culture only to have my 'precious' things a) lost, b) stolen, c) forgotten.

Whereas in the past I would have remained silent, I now shout