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ARTS AND CULTURE

Russian

  • 18 September 2006

(For Robert Dessaix)   Since the dead have stopped talking, I’ve turned to the media. Though I only listen now & then, it seduces every time – original good and original sin came wrapped in its intimate registers, filtered through childhood’s ears: I am crying on my mother’s lap, or holding my father’s hand, and the rise & fall of their voices binds me to them like blood. This foreign language I’ve learned to speak is the algebra of my mind, the grammar of my heart – absorbed, taken for granted like food, or the light of day. But then there are the other sounds – the texture of my mother tongue is the nearest I know to breathing, a reflex older than thought. I see lips moving on subtitled screens, but let their sense drift over my head as I wallow in the sound – they may be plotting some dismal crime, but pitch and cadence are beyond corruption, and spirit me home every time: I am three years old, I am saying my prayers, and preparing for untroubled sleep.