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AUSTRALIA

The bankable brats and buffoons of Australian sport

  • 15 January 2013

In an era when nearly all human pursuits are globalised and commercialised, sport is driven by two competing forces: the pursuit of unrealistic achievement and the need to always be entertaining. Victory at all costs is dehumanising, yet entertainment without competition is passionless — either way, we switch off, emotionally, and then with the remote.

This summer Shane Warne and Bernard Tomic, both immature to a fault, have demonstrated the tension between these ingredients. Warne is in the twilight of his cricket career, Tomic is just starting out on his tennis adventure. Over the past few weeks they've reminded us how commerce has hijacked the competition in sport.

Warne highlights what happens when entertainment trumps the contest. Ten days ago he engaged in a heated argument with West Indian Marlon Samuels, in a T20 Big Bash cricket match. The Australian was clearly heard on television saying 'fuck you, Marlon' before throwing the ball into Samuels' midriff in the act of returning it to the wicketkeeper. In return Samuels tossed his bat in Warne's direction, sparking more angry exchanges.

Warne was fined $3000 and suspended for one match for breaching a code of conduct rule. He was fined a further $1000 for using obscene language towards Samuels, who was also charged over his role in the exchange. Both penalties were lighter than a feather duster.

Warne tweeted that he went 'too far' and accepted his punishment. But he then tweeted he had been harshly treated. 'I'm disappointed at the severe penalty I received!'

Would he have behaved like this is in a Test match, wearing no microphone? Would he have shouted at Samuels like this ten years ago in a one-day match? No way. The smash and grab of T20, with its ephemeral character, electronic gimmicks and meaningless results, is driven by one simple rule: whoever makes the most noise wins — whether it's by hitting sixes, getting out strangely, swearing, banter with commentators or body contact.

Warne's behaviour, his tweets and the wave of support for his punishment, reveal the game as a false premise designed to elicit attention-seeking behaviour for the TV cameras. They are templates for testosterone, in all its expressions. And if that is misdirected, no problem. Return to Go and start again,