The fight for equality is an external, social, economic and political battlefield. Sometimes the fight is in our own heads, and we can internalise some of that misogyny. In between tearing each other down, putting dinner on and exercising some self-loathing while we're at it, how can one find the time to identify all of the ways a person can internalise the patriarchy? To save you some time, here's a list of the types of women who maintain inequality.
Ophelia the Woke: Ophelia considers herself a champion for women's rights. And she'll tell you that for her, feminism is a verb. She's read The Second Sex and The Beauty Myth. Germaine Greer is her idol. For her, every day is a chance to call for equal opportunity and sisterhood. But her belief in women's liberation and gender equality is selective. Transgender women, non-binary folk and sex workers are excluded from her resolve to create a better world for women. According to Ophelia, all women deserve equality, but some deserve it more than others.
Kathy the Red Pill: Kathy's woken up and discovered that feminism is the real problem. Those pesky feminists assume that all women are victims living in the Big Bad World Of The Big Bad Patriarchy™. And Kathy's not weak! She will admit that there's some bad stuff that happens to women, but that doesn't dampen Kathy's resolve to fight for men's rights and create a better world for men. In her opinion, female genital mutilation is a very bad thing, domestic violence is terrible and workplace sexual harassment is pretty lousy, if you think about it. But female only gyms? Now that's genuinely problematic.
Amanda the Dude: Amanda has some reservations about people working together to dismantle toxic masculinity. What about toxic femininity? There's no backstabbing or bitching with men. I actually prefer to be friends with guys. Men are just less dramatic. Pete and Davo might not be bitches, per se, but that's probably because they weren't conditioned into using manipulation, cattiness and emotional violence to suppress their enemies. Even after watching Pete play video games and witnessing Davo's mourning periods after his footy team loses, Amanda considers her male friends less dramatic than her female ones.
Serena the Cat: Serena's got better things to do with her life than be concerned about sexual harassment in the public and/or the workplace. Stop being so sensitive. There's nothing wrong with some harmless flirting. It's called a compliment, you should learn to take one. Perhaps we could all take a leaf out of Serena's book and add nice arse, sweetheart and come over here, baby to the lexicon of acceptable behaviour.
Karen the Skeptic: In the face of great cultural change, there's always been the naysayers, and Karen is a case in point. We don't need all this PC #metoo crap. It's just a bunch of feminazis demanding special treatment. Karen's idea of society giving women 'special treatment' consists of women not getting sexually harassed in the film and television industry and traditionally male roles being played by female actors. Which is all, in fairness, a bit extreme. Our 'special treatment' should continue to be capped at getting free drinks from guys and Mother's Day cards.
Petunia the Anthropologist: Petunia's not a legitimate expert in human psychology, but she has three brothers, so she knows a thing or two about how men work. Her observations about why certain toxic male traits exist closely resemble tired excuses for shitty male behaviour. Guys can't control their instincts. Men can't help themselves. It's just what men do. Women, on the other hand, know better. It's because we mature earlier than guys do. We're not as impulsive, we've got a bit more self-control. Although Petunia has concluded that women are the less impulsive sex, she hasn't come to the conclusion that perhaps we should be the ones who rule the world.
"In lieu of respecting that her fellow women are allowed to find joy in vampires and boy bands, she'd rather ridicule them for being happy."
Rita the Ear: Women are sensitive creatures at the best of times. Sometimes they cry when they watch a sad movie, and sometimes they call you out on the horrible things you say. Fortunately for dudes who don't like hanging around high-maintenance women, you can let your guard down around Rita. She's not like those other girls who can't take a joke. You can tease her about her making you a sandwich, or explain your feelings about why women 'getting maternity leave' invalidates the existence of the gender pay gap. Rita doesn't get all hysterical or defensive when you tell it like it is, not like other women.
Kylie the Chosen One: Kylie would like you to know that she doesn't like romance novels or pink. She also despises skirts, dancing and other girly things that Only Idiots Would Like. Her life is a constant effort to distinguish herself from the rest of her species. When One Direction, Justin Bieber and Twilight were cultural phenomena, she was the first person to denounce Such Absolute Rubbish. I'm definitely not into that crap! I'm not like other girls. Girls who like Justin Bieber are complete idiots, get some real taste in music! In lieu of respecting that her fellow women are allowed to find joy in vampires and boy bands, she'd rather ridicule them for being happy.
Jolene the Paragon: Jolene tends to echo a lot of conservative opinions she's heard rather than say anything a bit more creative or do a bit of soul-searching. With her non-confrontational personality and conventional attractiveness, the men in her life hold Jolene up as an example of what women 'really want'. See? Jolene doesn't think that she's being sexually harassed when she gets a compliment. Jolene's a woman and doesn't feel like we need more female voices in politics. You feminists can't really say that you're speaking for all women, can you?
Stella the Practical: Stella's coming to terms with some of the lefty lingo that floats around on the internet. While she might understand things like 'internalised misogyny' and 'MRA,' she can tell you straight off the bat that there's no such thing as 'rape culture'. Not that she doesn't think predatory male exists. In fact, Stella has some handy advice if you wish to fend off unsolicited creeps. Just say 'no'*. Stop complaining and playing the victim.
*Side effects of rejecting a man's advances may include death threats, violence, actual death, death of loved ones, online abuse, stalking, poisoning, being burnt, et cetera. If you experience any additional symptoms, have you just considered saying yes or pretending you already have a boyfriend?
Vivienne Coburn is an eclectic writer and ardent coffee snob from Brisbane. Her work has been featured in Junkee, Ibis House, PASTEL Magazine and on her mum's fridge. She is also the host of 'Spookzzz' on 4ZZZ (102.1 FM). You can follow her on Twitter @pearandivy
Main image by Antonio Guillem via Getty