Content warning: This article contains references to sexual violence.
We are facing a national reckoning. Four years after the #MeToo movement, the justifiably enraged voices of women and girls are saying enough: experiences must be brought to light; the sexual assault and harassment must stop.
Separate allegations including those against Attorney-General Christian Porter and an accusation made by former Liberal staffer Brittany Higgins have put the culture in our halls of power under the spotlight. Also recently, hundreds of young women have documented claims of sexual assault and rape against young men from some of the most prestigious schools. Over 70 pages of the most harrowing experiences are captured in black and white.
Much of the focus of public discourse is about women and girls who have experienced violence. This is progress — people who have experienced violence must be heard and supported. In the words of Australian of the Year Grace Tame, ‘it is so important for our nation, the whole world, in fact, to listen to survivors' stories’. We all have the right to be safe — at home, in the workplace and in our streets.
In spite of some commentary to the contrary, this is not about alcohol or being out late at night. Overwhelmingly, this is about the behaviour of men and boys. Not all of them — but too many.
There is not sufficient focus on the underlying drivers of sexual assault, harassment and other types of violence. Instead of people reverting to phrases like ‘boys will be boys’ to explain or excuse a hurtful comment or action, as a society we must do more to understand where these behaviours originate and work to prevent them.
In 2017, Jesuit Social Services established The Men’s Project, to draw on our then 40-year history working with boys and men. Our work stems from a commitment to keep women, children and the broader community safe. We do this by intervening earlier to address the root causes of male violence and other harmful behaviour, supporting boys and men to be their best selves.
'If we want to improve the attitudes of young men, and ultimately create better worlds for everyone, we must support men and boys to break free of the Man Box and recognise how destructive rigid adherence to masculine stereotypes can be.'
We embarked on Australian-first research to understand what drives the attitudes and behaviours of boys and men.
This research, published as two major Man Box reports in 2018 and 2020, makes it blatantly clear that too many young Australian men are constrained by rigid and stereotypical ideas about what it means to be a ‘real man’.
We posed a series of Man Box attitudes to 1,000 young men aged between 18 and 30 years, such as the concept that men should not ask for help for their personal problems, that guys should act tough even when nervous or scared, that men should be the primary provider for the household, that gay guys are not ‘real men’, that a ‘real man’ should have as many sexual partners as he can and that men should use violence to get respect if necessary.
We know that some young men learn these social norms from a young age, and carry them through to adulthood.
The results of our survey showed us that young Australian men who believe in rigidly adhering to traditional masculine stereotypes like these are at higher risk of using and experiencing violence, are more likely to sexually harass women, engage in risky drinking and report poorer levels of mental health.
Last year, we released a follow up report Unpacking the Man Box, which revealed that young Australian men’s belief in these rigid masculine stereotypes has a stronger impact on whether they used violence or sexually harassed women compared to other demographic variables in their lives (such as where they live, their employment status or their level of education).
If we want to improve the attitudes of young men, and ultimately create better worlds for everyone, we must support men and boys to break free of the Man Box and recognise how destructive rigid adherence to masculine stereotypes can be. In our schools, addressing these underlying drivers must be delivered together with education on consent and respectful relationships.
Creating societal change will not happen overnight. The Men’s Project believes that a critical place to start is by engaging with people who work with men and boys every day — like teachers, social workers, sports coaches and faith leaders.
Through our Modelling Respect and Equality program and Unpacking the Man Box workshops, we equip these people and other community leaders with the knowledge, skills and confidence to create environments where men and boys have permission and are encouraged to challenge Man Box attitudes.
We call it ‘influencing the influencers’ — and it is important that governments recognise the importance of this work in preventing violence, and fund it accordingly. If we can reduce adherence to the Man Box rules, we will create a better community for men as well as the people in their lives.
We have also developed the Adolescent Man Box survey to support schools to better understand the attitudes and behaviours of adolescents. This work can then assist schools to tailor their curriculum to the nuances of their own communities.
We need to engage with men and boys earlier to prevent the use of violence, hear them and understand them, but always hold them accountable for their behaviour. Only then will we see real and lasting progress in decreasing violence.
Matt Tyler is Executive Director of Jesuit Social Services' Men's Project, a project that was established to provide leadership on the reduction of violence and other harmful behaviours prevalent among boys and men, and build new approaches to improve their wellbeing and keep families and communities safe.
If you or someone you know is in crisis you can call Lifeline at 13 11 14 or 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.