There has been much said in recent days about the refusal of a group of Manly Sea Eagles footballers to wear a special Pride jersey for a match against the Sydney Roosters. After the Pride initiative was announced, a group of seven players came forward to express their concerns about the lack of consultation. Those players are now boycotting the match, saying that wearing the jumper would clash with their religious and cultural views. The match and event will still go ahead, and the players have been asked not to attend for security reasons.
There is understandably much unhappiness about the players’ actions. The purpose of the Pride event was described as ‘respecting diversity and inclusion for all’. Refusing to wear the Pride jersey, to many, feels like a fundamental rejection of all that the symbol stands for, which includes worthwhile social progress and greater recognition and acceptance of LGBTIQ+ people across society in recent years.
Reading commentary around this issue, however, one gets the sense that this is very much a litmus test. One either endorses Pride, and by extension the dignity and rights of LGBTIQ+ people, or one doesn’t endorse Pride, and by extension doesn’t respect the dignity and rights of LGBTIQ+ people. The boycotting players have been labelled as hypocrites (for taking a stand on this issue and not, for example, gambling or domestic violence) and even hateful for their actions. Many say they would be happy to see them sacked from the club entirely, and it’s not unlikely that the players will be subject to abuse from the crowd when (and if) they return.
It seems to me, though, that the attitudes of the Manly players deserve more consideration than this. A deeper look at Christian thought with regards to sexuality and sexual ethics shows there’s nuance at play that many don’t seem to appreciate.
'Pride advocacy clashes with Christian thinking by prioritising, and indeed centering, people as sexual beings. For LGBTIQ+ people, this is a reaction to a very real ‘de-centering’ of their experiences that continues to take place in mainstream society.'
One of the reasons people are attracted to Christian sexual ethics is because it doesn’t make sex a priority. It’s role is not dissimilar to that of eating. Sex is something that can and should be personally pleasurable, but that’s not the main reason for it. Rather, it’s a gift that’s given to us by God for biological and relational purposes – a gift to be shared with someone else in a way that leads to growth.
Just as over-indulging in food is not good for our health, sex that doesn’t take into account it’s deeper purpose is undesirable because it risks turning a gift into something that consumes our time and take us away from what’s important (e.g. porn addiction), or enmeshes us in unhealthy situations and relationships. Of course, we know even accepting this teaching doesn’t always prevent this from happening. But the existence of sin doesn’t negate the value of the ideal.
Christian thinking around sexuality, then, tries to confine sex to an ideal place – where it is intrinsically linked to procreation in the context of loving married life. In our society, and in our media landscape, this ideal is increasingly counter-cultural. Thus those who accept Christian thinking around sexuality are generally making a choice to do so, often because it feels good and true to their own experiences, both healthy and unhealthy ones. For many there might also be cultural factors involved, often reinforced by an attitude that Western ideas around sex and sexuality aren’t all particularly exemplary.
Pride advocacy clashes with Christian thinking by prioritising, and indeed centering, people as sexual beings. For LGBTIQ+ people, this is a reaction to a very real ‘de-centering’ of their experiences that continues to take place in mainstream society. Those who support Pride events rightfully feel the need to create a society in which LGBTIQ+ experiences are understood, respected and valued.
However for a Christian, focusing so intensely on sexuality and gender identity in Pride events can feel like an unhealthy distraction from what’s important. Indeed, it feeds into a fear of becoming more vulnerable to being consumed by sex and enmeshed in unhealthy relationships.
This is why Christians (and evidently other religious people) can have issues with Pride events, while still claiming to support and care for LGBTIQ+ people. It might be tempting to dismiss them as ‘hateful’, and certainly there are those who evoke Christian teaching to justify and express hatred. However for many it’s not about hatred of LGBTIQ+ people. It’s taking what they consider to be a principled stand about what sex – and it’s place in one’s life – means for them.
This comes, of course, from a place of privilege. I’m sure many LGBTIQ+ people would love to live in a world without Pride events because their acceptance and understanding is so ubiquitous as to never be needed. But it doesn’t come from a place of hate, and it’s not helpful when any pushback to these events is framed as hateful. All that does is reinforce to Christians (and other religious people who share their views) that they’re misunderstood.
That doesn’t mean the Christian viewpoint is beyond challenge. While some might contest it, there’s strong evidence that there’s a natural basis to same sex attraction and gender identity – which from a religious perspective implies that God has gifted people with these diverse experiences. If this is the case, then there is need for fresh theological thinking into the gift of sexuality and how it might encompass more diverse experiences. This would certainly be helped by a deeper understanding of the lives and experiences LGBTIQ+ people today.
Bringing people into this discernment process, however, isn’t going to be facilitated by forcing people to wear Pride clothing against their will, or turning anyone who takes a different view into an outcast. It starts by building relationships based on mutual understanding. It starts with personal connection.
There is great value in Pride initiatives that create personal connections and help people see the fundamental dignity and humanity of LGBTIQ+ people more deeply. But Pride initiatives should be an invitation into dialogue and conversion of heart, not an imposition that a person has no choice but to accept.
Michael McVeigh is Head of Publishing and Digital Content at Jesuit Communications, publishers of Eureka Street.
Main image: Manly's Kieran Foran in the Sea Eagle's Pride jersey. (Manly Digital).